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It would be better if I was goingto an electric chair; the dress punishment was a far worse fate. We didn'teven say a word between us and made our way to our grey minivan. I climbedin my seat and a few seconds later mom was behind the wheel."What do you have to say for yourself, young man?" My mom put an emphasison the word man that made me gulp."It wasn't my fault, really. Edward started it." And Edward forced you to throw a pudding cup at him?" No," I said in defeat. I know I was wrong for letting someone control myactions."It seems to me like someone has a little too much testosterone in theirsystem," my mom said pointedly as she put the car into gear and slowlymade her way onto the road."It's not that mom, I promise," I started to plea."I think it is, and there really is only one solution for this. Since youhave so much testosterone and want to behave like a Neanderthal male, thenI think we need to adjust our plans for the weekend and teach you a littlelesson." But mom," I said,. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM."Just you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"10. My mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."11. My mother taught me about WEATHER."This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY."If I told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"13. My father taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE."I brought you into this world, and I can take you out..."14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION."Stop acting like your father!"15. My mother taught me about ENVY."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION."Just wait until we get home."17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING."You are going to get it from your father when you get home!"18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck.
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